Not lembas, but waybread nonetheless.

Spring break: train, bus, wildflowers, trolley, plane, T, snow pants, T, tea, T, car, stars, morning walks, van, train, bed sweet bed.

I thought it’d be a fun idea to bring my best-friend-since-ever some homemade bread! But I didn’t know how to keep it fresh, so instead I brought the dough with me on the long journey between Long Island and Philadelphia. Suffice it to say the recipe writer probably did not have that particular definition in mind when he or she asked for a “long rise”.

Unorthodox travel achievements unlocked:

‎✔ rolling with the dough

‎✔ one week, one backpack

‎✔ 800 miles, no pants

‎✔ sleep at 40 degrees F? +/- 10 degrees

‎✔ start and finish grant application on one Megabus ride

This week, one of my former trainers spoke something that touched me a lot.

Jesus’ death and resurrection was the turning point of the entire universe. It was the activation energy necessary to push God’s enterprise in time from one age to another, from one dispensation to the next, tipping the first domino towards the revelation of the sons of God, the building up of the church, and the re-establishment of the proper order of the universe. So Jesus, having thrown off the principalities and powers on the cross, having united Jews and Gentiles in His body as one new man, and having taken the keys to death and Hades, was on the way to present Himself to the Father for the Father’s enjoyment. What a time! Fresh from the victory of the ages, from dealing a death-blow to Satan, for some reason, the mighty conqueror of all decided to make a brief pit stop on the way to the throne.

Why?

Because crazy Mary, who loved Him more than anything, was looking for Him. All the other disciples had come to the tomb and left, leaving Mary there distraught and helpless at what appeared to be the theft of Jesus’ body from His tomb (Dear Peter and John—not your brightest hour). In all the distress of not finding Jesus’ body, she was absolutely unperturbed by the appearance of two angels to console her (which, as far as I can remember, is only the second instance of anyone meeting angels so calmly, with the first being Abraham). She would settle for nothing less than Jesus Himself. And so, Jesus, who clearly had more important things to do and places to be, like the third heavens and please the Father, stopped by and asked her, “Woman, why are you weeping?” Not recognizing Him, she then incoherently explains that she was looking for Jesus’ body, and that she wanted to carry it away. (Here I start to have some questions… Mary, how are you going to carry a cadaver all by yourself? Where are you planning to lug it? What do you want to do with it?) She was, by all counts, crazy in love with Jesus. Then Jesus said, “Mary!” At that, she realizes that He was the one she was seeking.

Mary didn’t have any agenda for seeking the Lord. She just loved Him, so much so that she didn’t consider too much how to seek Him in her headlong rush. She didn’t have checks and balances to her love. That’s why, of all the people whom Jesus loved on the earth at that time, Jesus set aside the time to take care of her, to console her, even when He was at the cusp of accomplishing the most important work of all time.

My trainer shared this story, and concluded, “Sorry to say, some of you are too sober. The Lord wants a crazy lover.”

I had to repent. I’ve never been crazy for anything. I’ve never thrown caution to the wind, shredded my plans B-Z, rashly decided, made a fool of myself, or lost control of my emotions for anything, let alone the Lord. I’m very much in control, and in matters of love, that’s more of a hindrance than an asset.

I’m not advocating seeking after the accomplishment of any of these things in order to have done them, nor as a benchmark for measuring one’s love for Him. But I’m just asking the Lord to keep drawing me, to keep calling me from introspection to follow Him. My beloved is leaping upon the mountains, skipping on the hills (SoS 2:8)! Who cares about my uncooperative knees and languor? Forget pulling on shoes and socks, it’s time to rise up and come away!